Here's my introductory post.
My name is browse
. I'm a 40-something living in the Pacific Northwet of the US, working as a computer geek, dating, hiking, cooking, doing massage and generally trying to find the right balance in life.
I have firmly decided not to get married, ever. I can enumerate most of my reasons, but I can't promise they will make sense to anyone but me.
I didn't have a lot of great role models for marriage as I was growing up. It seemed like all of the parents of my friends and peers had gotten divorced at least once. My own parents did. And those couples that had stayed together didn't seem like the sort of relationships I wanted to emulate. There wasn't anyone I can think of whose marriage I could point at and say "There! I want something like that! They've got it figured out!"
I've been with the same person over 11 years now, and I hope it lasts for a hell of a lot longer. But I've had enough failed relationships to be wary. "If it's working, don't mess with it!" So far, it's working. I don't feel the need to tempt fate.
Whether marriage changes you or not is a question I will leave, for now. But it is my experience that it changes how other people treat you. Suddenly you go from being an individual to being counted as part of an indivisible, joined-at-the-hip unit. The idea that you and your partner might have different interests, plans, or socialize separately evaporates. That bothers me hugely.
Frankly, I'm enough of a libertarian that I fail to see why the government or, worse yet, some religious institution has any say in my relationship status. Bah! That's between me and my partner. Anyone else who thinks they have a say in the matter can bugger off.
Anyway, that's my story. Thanks to minuet1965
for starting this community!
Current Music: Talk to Her - Piers Faccini